why am i blogging about flies?

blogging about flies is my first blog challenge. i must say, i am fairly excited about it!

now, what do i know about flies?? hmmm..well..college biology lab - we "grew" fruit flies and, subsequently, killed them. they only live about two weeks. i remember thinking, "how sad. ONLY two weeks of life?!"

i wonder what i would do, if i were only alive two weeks? that is a lot of time i could spend catching up on my tivo recordings. of course, not sure how important tv would be, if i only had two weeks to live. let me think. OOOOH!! i would fly to japan and participate in one of those ridiculous game shows!! yes! i would, definitely, do that! what else? duh..of course..learn jiu-jitsu, so that the next time i hit someone and shout, "JUDO CHOP," i, actually, know what i am doing - rather than simply pissing off the guy in front of me in the checkout line. (he just looked like a tool. i had no choice. you would have done the same.) wait..i totally know - jazzercise!! since the first time i watched "the grinch," with jim carrey, i have been DYING to go to a class! (mainly, so i can say it how he says it - "i am off to 'yazzercise!'" i laugh, everytime!) OH.MY.GOSH - I KNOW!! the sensor detectors at the door of walmart - you know how they occasionally go off, even though you are certain you did not steal anything (this time)?! well, i have ALWAYS wanted to take off running like hell - just to see what they would do. (i think i may try that, tomorrow, actually.)

umm..wait..what was this post supposed to be about? oh..yeah..flies.

i wish i could fly. that would be a pretty cool talent to have for those damned school talent shows. pfft..little jimmy knows how to play the piano. harumph..adorable rebecca can tap. EFF THEM!! why..because I.CAN.FLY!! TOP THAT, BITCHES!! (now, i have the peter pan song stuck in my head.)

here is something fly-related: some of you have witnessed this, but may not have realized what you were seeing. i was told - when i was much younger - that when flies land, they regurgitate. this "fact" has stuck with me. (i should probably look it up.) as a result, i nearly lose my cool, when a fly lands on me. as germophobic as i am, the thought of anything vomiting on my arm - it is too much! so..yeah..i will swing my arms about madly, while trying not to scream and/or pass out, to prevent the fly from landing on me. (yeah, definitely going to look it up, now.)

http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2061/do-flies-vomit-every-time-they-land

okay..so, basically, yes. regurgitate, vomit, drool - whatever you want to call it - i am freaked out!! NASTY! furthermore - thanks to my research - i, now, have to worry (not only about fly upchuck), but e.coli traces on its feet. FAAAAABULOUS!! JUST FABULOUS! i am totally stopping this post. thanks a lot, leslie schofield!!