i woke up at 4:30a, today. i was completely thrilled, as i had slept a solid 4 1/2 hours - HUGE! after playing on my phone, for a bit, i decided to get a few things done. (the amount of stuff i accomplished, between 4:30a and 6:00a, was astounding! i was mucho proud of myself!) once i finished curing cancer - (okay, fine. i, merely, showered and got ready. claiming i cured cancer just sounded cooler.) - i headed into the nursery, to wake mac. immediately, upon opening the door, i was overcome by a smell. although my mind attempted to process, i could not figure out what i was smelling. it was odd - sweet, yet sour; floral, yet dead animal. upon realizing i was having trouble deciding whether or not it was a good or bad smell, i found myself super excited - believing i may be pregnant. (normal scents DESTROYED me, when i was pregnant!) while walking to turn on the bathroom light - rather than the bedroom light, so less shocking for mac - i let the thought of being pregnant take hold. i was all smiles, as i made my way over to mac's crib. the moment i leaned over, to grab her, i knew something was wrong. the smell was MUCH stronger, and there was NO confusion about whether or not the smell was good or bad. it was BAD (very, VERY bad)!! all of a sudden, my hand felt something wet. i jumped back, as the realization of what had happened set in. using my clean hand, i ran to the other side of the room and flipped on the lights. i, then, turned and approached the crib - as if a spider was inside it - slooowly, baby steps, head reared back, waiting to strike. when i got close enough to see inside the crib, my nightmare was confirmed. riley had thrown up - EVERYWHERE! in fact, "everywhere" does not even begin to encompass what i mean. it was not just on her sheets - and blanket - and "pink penguin" - and "bunny." OH, NO!! it was, also, in her hair - up and down her pjs (she had, apparently, rolled over into it.) - on the base of the crib - on the backboard of the crib. (it looked like the aftermath of a frat party!) my mind could, barely, keep up with what i was seeing!! knowing i had about 3 seconds, before my mind DID catch up, i reached out to grab her. however, the moment i took hold of her hand, it slid out of mine. (naturally, her hands were - also - covered in vomit.) gagging, i ran out of the room and grabbed the house phone. i called warren, who was downstairs, and shouted something about "code red." he came flying up the stairs.
i did not have to explain anything, when he entered the room. the smell, nearly, knocked him over. he looked at the crib. then, he looked at me. (in half a second, we had an entire unspoken conversation. one that said, "no need to discuss this, as we must take action!") i shouted, "start the bath. i will get mac." "i am on it," he replied, as he ran toward the bathroom. i grabbed mac - trying to pretend i did not see, smell, or feel the vomit on her or my hands. i held her out, as far as my arms could extend, and carried her into the bathroom. the poor thing started to cry, for she could not figure out what was going on, and why i was upset. i tried to remain calm, talk soothingly, etc - turning my head, every second or two, to dry heave. (i became a doctor of pharmacy - not a doctor of medicine - for many reasons. one of those: i do NOT do bodily fluids; particularly, vomit!!) as i am stripping her down, everything REALLY starts to set in. i stop, take a step back - tears welling up in my eyes - as my gag reflexes start to take over. warren says, "okay, you do not need to be doing this! i am going to take care of the crib!" i try to thank him, but am gasping for air. as he starts to disassemble and disinfect the crib, i toss mac in the tub. the bath, instantly, cheers her up! (bathtime is her favorite!) i am scrubbing her down, continuously fighting the urge to vomit, as i wash chunks out of her hair. the moment she becomes aware that this bath is a quick one, all hell breaks lose! (she ends up crying - while i dry her off, change her, load her in the vehicle, drive her to the babysitter's, and when i drop her off. it was sooooo much fun! *sarcasm*)
upon pulling out of my garage, i start to believe that the worst is over. my stomach is settling. the lump in my throat has diminished. mac is screaming, but we are doing okay. i turn out of my subdivision and get a mile down the road, when it happens. i start to get choked up. i feel something, in my throat. i start to cough. i continue to cough. finally, i begin to cough so hard that my gag reflexes - which are still going haywire - start to override my mental "calmness." i am forced to pull off the road, jump out of my truck, and hurl - in the rain. (the humility experiences juuuuuust keep happening. the joy. *sarcasm*) once i feel confident enough that i can continue driving, i get back in my vehicle.
as i am making my way down the road, i start to debate starbucks. although starbucks is part of my RIGID "on the way to work" routine, i am not feeling well. nonetheless, i convince myself that it would be in my best interest to get something in my stomach. when i pull up to the drive-thru monitor, karnell (my favorite barista) gives me his usual chipper greeting.
karnell: "good morning! welcome to starbucks! what can i get started for you?"
me: "good morning, karnell! it is me." (somehow, he - always - knows that "me" equals ME.)
karnell: "yell-O there! venti hot chocolate and a pumpkin loaf?"
me: "you got it! thanks, karnell!"
karnell, as i start to pull forward: "do you know our pumpkin muffins are back?!"
me: "no. i had no idea there ever were pumpkin muffins."
karnell, elated: "yep and they are deee-licious!"
me: "is the muffin the same, as the bread - just in muffin form?"
karnell: "yes! you must try it!"
i am, now, thinking that karnell is - obviously - feeding off the spinach feta wrap decision. (when he first started working, he tried to convince me to order "fun" drinks, yummy foods, etc. my response was, always, the same - "i do not like coffee and am not interested in any other foods. thank you!" he loved this response, as he could not believe someone would come to starbucks - everyday - and not drink coffee. eventually, though, he stopped suggesting alternatives and simply had my usual ready to go.) i ordered said wrap, yesterday morning, and - now - he thinks all is fair game. however, i recall that i am working on a new randi. so, i respond with, "what the hell! go for it!" (after all, pumpkin bread vs. pumpkin muffin - how much difference could there really be?!)
**MISTAKE**
when karnell hands me my "i am synonymous to our pumpkin bread" muffin, it becomes clear that "change" is NOT working in my favor, today! the muffin is overflowing, with some sort of cream filling. the old randi would have simply told karnell to take his muffin and shove it up his ass. new randi - she notes that karnell is enthusiastic about said muffin, and the fact she is switching things up. (plus, it did not seem right to kill his muffin buzz.) so, i hold the muffin out flat on my palm and say, "umm..pumpkin muffin, eh?"
karnell, in a sing-song voice: "yes! it is uh-MAAA-zing!"
me, not buying it: "mmhmm, mmhmm - what do you CALL this muffin, again?" (not even sure why i asked, as the "spinach feta breakfast wrap," CLEARLY, fails to mention it contains an egg.)
karnell, euphorically: "it is a pumpkin cream cheese muffin!!"
..and THERE it is!! cream cheese is all up inside it! (although i like cream cheese, i do NOT eat that heavy in the morning; especially, THIS morning!) flashbacks of mac, the crib, the smell, and my wet hand come flooding to the forefront of my mind. i, literally, turn my head away - pretending to talk to mac, in the back - so karnell does not see me retching. when i turn back i say, "cream cheese! yummy!" *saaaarcasm* i accept the muffin, pull away from the drive-thru, get out of my truck, and throw up - again! once all is said and done, i send warren a text - "i bought you breakfast. you are welcome!" (i may as well take credit, right? pretend i was being a loving, thoughtful wife or whatever.)
by the time i get to the drugstore, i am feeling much better. i am "almost" finding humor, in the fact that i have had two horrendous mornings - in a row! while i am gathering my belongings, to get out of my truck, i notice an elderly man standing at the front of the pharmacy door. (it is 8:15a, and we do not open until 9a.) before i have time to surmise why he is there, i witness the following:
the gentleman bends down and grabs the roll of newspapers that the paperboy leaves for us to sell, inside the store. i watch this man remove a paper, set it on the ground, and then - carefully and diligently - roll the remaining papers up, and insert them back into the plastic sleeve. as i approach the door, he places the plastic roll of papers on the ground and picks up his copy.
me: "good morning, sir! is there anything that i can help you with, other than that paper?"
man: "no, ma'am. just the paper."
me, bending down to grab the roll, noting no change has been left: "have you paid for it?"
man, surprised: "well..uh..no, not yet."
me: "would you like to?"
man, pulling out a pocketful of change: "oh! yes, ma'am! 75 cents?"
me, realizing i have no clue: "that sounds fair."
man: "i have never seen you before. are you the boss?"
me: "i am one of them, yes."
man, ecstatic: "OH! HELLO!! i have been doing business here since..."
we, then, stand out in the cold rain - for 15 minutes - discussing his memories of the store, his love for us, his newfound love for me, what we plan to build next door, his cat, etc and so forth. (he, thoroughly, amused me! totally made my morning!!) eventually, i managed to get inside the store, to start opening up.
the rest of my day was, fairly, normal (as normal as possible, for a day in a pharmacy). all day long i could smell vomit on me; although, i KNOW it was in my head. i, progressively, lost my voice - as a result of the dry heaving and hurling, apparently. my colleague bought me a frosty. (YUM!) all in all - rough start, but a fabulous ending!! i should sleep well, tonight.
*random note: i should vent, more often! yesterday's post set a couple records. 1 - the record number of website views, in one day. (250+) 2 - the record number of page views, for one particular post. (now, at 170+) thank you, all! i appreciate the support and following!
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