this is my story - 2011 hurricane edition

september is my least favorite month. every year, during this month, i allow myself to remember an event that turned my life upside down - hurricane hugo. although it caused emotional damage that, occasionally, rears its ugly head - for the most part, i embrace hugo and its aftermath. afterall, hugo played an integral role in who i came to be. (i think i could have turned out much worse.) nonetheless, i still find that i throw myself into work, projects, cleaning, etc - as if to create a distraction - only permitting memories to surface, when i consent. (yeah, i am a control freak!) my close friends are aware how difficult september can be, particularly mid-month. for that reason, i will receive a few phone calls, texts, emails, cards, and other expressions of love and comfort. (i, truly, have some great people in my life.)

due to my experience, i have shared my life story with many people - individually, in a group setting, church camps, etc. i used to simply tell the story - what happened - the facts. as i got older, i realized this story was becoming my testimony. whether i think about it or not, it impacts me on a daily basis. (the fact that i live in kentucky - a direct result. the fact that i became a pharmacist - a direct result.) the last time i shared this story with a large group, was at my pharmacy school graduation, a little over two years ago. it was my class president speech. in the past, i have shared my life story/testimony, for the purpose of offering encouragement to others. at my graduation, i shared it to express my thanks. however, in the process, something happened - i impacted people. sounds of people crying, including myself, could be heard throughout the entire auditorium. (there was not a dry eye, in the room, once i finished speaking.)

after the ceremony concluded, NUMEROUS people approached me - family, friends, classmates, faculty, clayton mcwhorter (mcwhorter school of pharmacy's namesake), and various audience members. they hugged me, thanked me, and praised me for sharing my story. to be honest, i - barely - remember what most of them said. their kind, supportive words have faded into the recesses of my mind, because what i remember most is a man named mark. to this day, i do not know much about him. i have no idea why he was at my graduation. (to my knowledge, he was no one's husband, father, or brother.) i had never seen or met him, previously. however, while surrounded by my family and friends, i saw him standing outside the circle of people - sobbing. for whatever reason, i stepped through everyone enclosing me and approached him. he looked up and said, "randi, my name is mark. i had to find you to tell you something." his speech was broken, as he was having difficulty catching his breath. i reached out and took his hand. (i do not know why, as i do not like touching people.) he continued, "i have been going through a very, VERY difficult time in my life. my sister has been, as well. due to the things going on in our lives, i was uncertain i was going to come, today. i am sooo glad i did! i cannot express how much your words meant to me. i thought my life was a disaster! i lost faith. i stopped going to church. i have been wondering how i am even going to make it through another day. you have given me hope. you have survived so much and made it to the other side. you will NEVER know how much you have changed my life! i was SUPPOSED to be here, to hear you speak! i am going to make it! i know it, now!!" i, immediately, embraced him. we held onto one another, as if our lives depended on it, bawling our eyes out. in my near 28 years of life, i have only had two life-changing, emotional encounters like that with a complete stranger. it is something i hope ALL of you get to experience - at least once. (the impact can be of utmost importance, whether you realize it at that moment or not.)

i shared my story, at my graduation, wanting to convey my thanks and - perhaps - encourage a few people. i never realized what i would get in return. this man - mark - believes i changed his life, and that i was there for him. he is wrong - he was there for me! HE CHANGED ME! since that day, i have tried to live my life, with mark in mind. we have the opportunity, everyday, to support people - encourage people - love people. we have the opportunity to let our light for God shine through. is it always easy? of course not! the cool thing, though - every 24 hours, your day starts, again. (think of it as a continuous new beginning!!)

as i have mentioned - in a previous posting - i have had several things going on in my life, recently. those things, on top of the fact that it is september, have made for an emotionally torturous month. there are, also, a few people in my life that are having a difficult time. despite the fact that many people have asked me to post my speech/graduation video, during the past couple years, i have never done so. it was not the right time. it is, now. hopefully, it will provide a sense of encouragement and diminish the sense of loneliness, to those whom i am referring. at a bare minimum, it will give you all a little insight into me, which i - RARELY - allow to happen.

this is my story (a very brief version).

  

Good Morning: President Westmoreland, Dean Sands, administrators, faculty, alumni, family, friends, and most importantly - my fellow graduates.  Over the past few weeks, I have been desperately trying to think of something profound to say.  Yet, try as I might, I kept drawing a blank.  Two nights ago, I finally figured out my problem: I was trying so hard to force something awe-inspiring out of my brain that I forgot to simply be myself and speak from my heart.  Upon this realization, I knew exactly what I wanted to say; something the Lord has been calling me to voice for almost a year now.

As some of you already know, I grew up in St. Croix - one of the United States Virgin Islands.  My parents had moved there, before I was born, so that my father could build and run several drugstores.  By the time I came into this world, my dad had fully established himself as a successful pharmacist.  Business was booming, the weather was nice, and generally speaking - life was grand!  However, in a blink of an eye, all that changed. 

On September 18, 1989, Hurricane Hugo whipped through St. Croix, demolishing nearly everything in its path.  What was once a beautiful Caribbean island was, now, nothing but shambles and chaos.  The people of the island began to ransack what was remaining of the homes and businesses.  Violence ensued to a level that had, previously, been unseen; men dragging women and children out of their vehicles and leaving them on the street.  Some of the islanders had broken into the Catholic church, sending the priests and nuns running for a safe haven.  These clergy members found shelter in one of my father’s drugstores, which had remained relatively intact.  Armed with only a friend’s shotgun, my father harbored the clergy members, abandoned women and children, and anyone else who sought shelter from the vicious acts that were being committed.

Two days after the hurricane, with criminals still ruling the streets, my father and the people living in his store were still awaiting the Coast Guard and other law enforcement officials from the States to arrive.  While safely locked inside the pharmacy, my father and his boarders heard someone from outside the front of the store shout, “Send the white man out!”  My father knew they were referring to him.  Carrying his shotgun, my dad stepped out the front doors to see two young men, aged 18 and 19, standing several yards away.  One of the men proceeded to tell my father that he must give them his gun, for they were coming inside to take what they wished.  Knowing that they would shoot him the moment he surrendered his weapon, my dad told them that he would not do so, and they should back away.  The men advanced a few steps, again, repeating their demands.  THREE times my dad told them to step back, or he would shoot.  After the third time, the man that kept insisting my dad give up his weapon lunged at my father.  My dad immediately fired his gun, shooting the man in mid-air, causing him to die almost instantly.  The other man took off running.

As one might expect, a trial followed.  Although the jury deemed the shooting one of self defense, my dad was charged with possession of an unlicensed firearm.  For this, he was sentenced to six years in prison.  In a matter of days, we had lost everything, due to either the hurricane itself or thievery - our home, our belongings, our pets, our father..gone!  To add insult to injury, our insurance company conveniently went bankrupt, leaving my family with virtually nothing but the clothes on our backs.

With my father serving his sentence, my mother was left with three children, one of whom was a newborn.  Being a housewife, she had no way to support her family.  As a result, she went back to school - pharmacy school.  It was hard, to say the least. 

School consumed my mother.  She woke up at 4 a.m., every morning, to study before we awoke for school.  Everyday, I watched my mother push herself to play both the role of student and mother.  By the time I became a teenager, I was mad at the world and highly ticked off at God.  How could He let this happen?!  Why did He take away the life and the parents I loved (one to prison and the other to school)?  Why was my childhood stripped away so quickly?  WHY?! 

Despite my anger, life went on.  In 1998, two years after my father was released from prison, my mother graduated from the very pharmacy school from which my dad had graduated - Samford University McWhorter School of Pharmacy.  We moved back to Kentucky, where my parents - both at the age of 42 - started all over.  They started from scratch, turning one store into five.  Upon graduating high school, seeing as I had no idea what else to do with my life, I enrolled in the University of Kentucky’s pre-pharmacy program.  Upon completion, I was accepted here at Samford to take on the challenge of pharmacy school - which now that I am finished - I have ZERO clue how my mother did it, while raising three children by herself!  Although I am the one graduating today, I could not be more proud of my mother at this current moment!

So there I was on my way to Samford, a Christian school, and could not have felt farther away from the Lord.  Other than destroy the life I loved, what had He done for me?!  Nevermind that my family was doing well, back together, and healthy - I felt that God had abandoned me, long ago.  Enter you all!  Overnight, I was surrounded by classmates and teachers who constantly reminded me of God’s love and wisdom, slowly - but surely - restoring my faith.

I share this story so that you all may take home two things.  First, the road that you travel is not always easy.  There will be days where you will drop to your knees, believing all is lost, and wanting to give up.  My suggestion - while you are down there on your knees, anyway - PRAY.  God IS listening!  He will send people into your life, even the most unsuspecting individuals, to extend a hand and help you get back on your feet.  For me, many of those people I found here at Samford.

The second, and final point, I would like to leave you with is this - wake up everyday and be the best version of yourself.  Live your life so that others may see and experience your faith in God, for you never know who is watching and the impact you may have on them.  Jimmy Carter once said, “I have one life and once chance to make it count for something…I’m free to choose what that something is, and the something I’ve chosen is my faith.  Now, my faith goes beyond theology and religion and requires considerable work and effort.  My faith demands - this is not optional - my faith demands that I do whatever I can, wherever I am, whenever I can, for as long as I can with whatever I have to try to make a difference.”  For some of you here today, the difference you made is within me. Without even knowing it, you saved me spiritually, and for that I am truly thankful.  As the famous anonymous quote goes, “You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.”  Each and every one of you holds a special place in my heart.  I wish you all nothing but success and happiness.  Congratulations on making it this far, and thank you for reminding me what it is to walk with God.

Randi Windham Gardner, Pharm.D.

May 15, 2009

*fans of ran: do not fret! i shall continue to post humor, next week.