It would appear that the "YOU ARE CARRYING OUR GRANDCHILD - WE FORBID YOU TO DO THAT" crazies have arrived. I will give my parents a little credit, as this go around, they waited til my last trimester. (When I was pregnant with Riley, the insanity started when I was only 4 months along.) Apparently, I am not "allowed" to leave my house. Below, is last night's conversation.
Mom, excitedly: "We should plan a trip to Birmingham, soon!"
Me: "I already have a tripped planned, actually. You are welcome to come with me." (I told her this a month ago.)
Mom: "When?"
Me: "Next month, toward the end of Sky's Spring Break."
Mom, upon learning the exact dates: "Bummer! I cannot go! I will be out of town, during that time." (Yep, she had the same response a month ago.)
Me: "No big deal."
Mom, slight panic in her voice: "Wait! Are you going by yourself?"
Me: "No, Riley is coming with me."
Dad, nearly choking on his drink: "WHAT?! NO! You CANNOT go to B'ham WITH RILEY!!"
Me, laughing: "Umm..why not?!"
Dad, alarmed: "BECAUSE YOU ARE PREGNANT!!"
Me, cracking up: "I did not realize that made me an invalid."
Mom, in her most serious tone: "It is much too dangerous!"
Me: "'TOO DANGEROUS?!' To drive down the interstate, to a place I used to live, to visit my brother and sister-in-law??"
Mom: "YES! What if your car breaks down?" (What is it with her fear of EVERY vehicle I own breaking down?!)
Me: "I have a new vehicle parked in my garage. I have had it - what - SIX MONTHS! If it breaks down, you do not have to pray for me, you will need to pray for the GM company!!"
Mom: "Still, it COULD happen!"
Me: "Okay, fine, so I break down. I am traveling down a major interstate. I hit OnStar and voilà!" (Best to move away from this argument, as we have been having it since I was 16.)
Mom: "Yeah, well, what about Campbell?!"
Me, uncertain where this is going: "What about her?"
Mom: "Someone could hit you over the head and CUT HER OUT!!"
**Chime the Cuckoo Clock, please.**
Me, on verge of bashing my head into the nearest wall: "Seriously, Mom? CUT her out?! I presume this scenario occurs when I am stranded on the "REMOTE" interstates of I-75 or I-59?? Or does this psycho - SOMEHOW - jump in my truck, as I am driving down the road?!"
Mom, unamused: "IT HAPPENS! Just the other day, on the news..."
Me, interrupting: "STOP! If you are about to tell me some sick story, about a pregnant woman getting hit over the head and waking up to find that her baby has been cut out of her, I do not want to hear it. This is a messed up world we live in. NOTED! I am not naive, but I am going to BIR.MING.HAM - not the Seventh Circle of Hell! We could all die tomorrow, but I refuse to live my life in a state of fear. I am traveling in broad daylight, down a congested interstate, to a place we have all lived and love. WE WILL BE FINE!!"
Dad: "Well, at least leave Riley here!"
Me, puzzled: "Why would I do that? She has traveled to B'ham, with just me, two or three times. Sky and Kala will want to see her, and she will want to see them."
Dad: "Because you should not put all your eggs in one basket." (Oh, no - not the "Eggs in One Basket" metaphor!)
Me, staring blankly, as if I am the only one aware that everyone is INSANE: "Meaning?"
Dad: "Meaning, if you have a wreck, all three of you could die!"
Me, laughing: "You guys are CRAZY! B'ham is not across the country! It is right down the road! I cannot believe you two are being so ridiculous about this?!"
Dad: "Maybe it is my age, but I cannot help but think that each time either you all travel or I go out of town - that it may be the last time I see you guys."
Warren, finally voicing his opinion, in a low voice: "I think a couple of us here have been watching way too many crime movies."
Me, cracking up: "Awww, Dad! I understand that life is fleeting and that you are a concerned parent/grandparent, but we cannot live in a bubble."
Mom: "You can at least wait, until after Campbell's birth."
*The conversation, then, turned to "home invasions," as I tried to point out that staying at home is EQUALLY death defying.
**I chose to keep silent about that fact that I have two other trips planned, before B'ham. I just did not think they could handle it, in their latest mental state.
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