i HATE my neighbor!!

this is how it started...

this is how it ended...

a simple child's activity game, and not only has my world been rocked, but a relationship forever changed.

my dear friend and neighbor - correction - my loathed arch nemesis, gina noble, adores riley. she has three boys, so she jumps at the chance to have some girl time with miss mac. a couple months ago, riley spent the night with gina. according to both, they had a blast! knowing how much riley LOVES all things winnie the pooh, gina gave her a pooh game (refer to the first picture) and several books. when the game was given to riley, the tigger ball was already out of the box. noting that the game itself was a little advanced for riley's age, i put it in her closet. ever since, mac has been playing with the tigger ball and insisting mommy or daddy read her the books - on an almost daily basis. today, during day 3 of my nesting/spring cleaning phase, i decided to put the tigger ball back in the box. when i opened the box, here is what i found, buried amongst the game pieces.

my heart nearly jumped out of my chest!! the tigger ball went flying, as i stumbled back, right over a giant stuffed eeyore. after the initial shock - and i assure you, it was SHOCK - i pulled myself together and attempted to find the humor in contaminating an innocent CHILDREN'S game (a GIFT, no less)! furthermore, i tried to ignore the fact that she "kindly" gave riley this game - with the horrifying surprise tucked away inside - knowing i was in my third trimester.

in order to calm myself down, i put the game away and continued organizing and cleaning riley mac's room. i noticed her stuffed animal basket was beyond overflowing, so i decided to sort through them and move some of the animals into campbell's basket. (the event that is about to unfold happened NO MORE than four minutes after the shock i described above.)

i had just gathered up a bunch of stuffed animals in one hand - the ipad and cordless phone in the other - when i felt something run across my foot. upon looking down, lo and behold, there was one of those scary ass, fuzzy, brown, killer spiders - its body measuring the size of a NICKEL - running across my bare foot. (MY BARE FOOT, GINA!!) i do not remember exactly what happened next, as it is a horror i am desperately trying to forget, but the pictures below show the end result.

crime scene (i would have outlined in chalk, but am entirely too terrified to get my hand that close to the spider remnants.)

cordless phone

ipad

some of the stuffed animals

the rest of the stuffed animals

on a comedic scale of 1-10, i would rate your actions an EFFIN' NEGATIVE SEVENTEEN, GINA!! NEG-A-TIVE.ONE.SE-VEN! I ALMOST WENT INTO LABOR - NO JOKE! I EFFIN' HATE YOU! HAAAAATE YOU!! an hour has passed, and i am still not the same. my heart continues to race and my eyes are twitching. as for my foot, i may have to cut it off, as i continue to feel the fuzzy eight legs run across it! (*EIGHT* LEGS!! *FUUUZZY!*) not to mention, mac's room still looks like the pictures above. i can even see the room's light, spilling underneath the frame of the door. after having to drop to my hands and knees - NINE MONTHS PREGNANT - in order to violently kill the damn thing with mac's shoe, i ran out of the room and slammed the door. (i had mac take these pictures.) i refuse to go back in there! CSI warren will, undoubtedly, figure out what happened in a matter of seconds. the saddest part of all - riley's diapers are in her room, and she needs to be changed. she is going to have to tough it out though, at least until daddy gets home.

one last note, i am not entirely convinced that you did not plant BOTH the fake and live spider in the game! all i am saying, what are the chances that a REAL spider (the first one i have seen in MONTHS) emerged three minutes after the fake one?! BITCH!!!