Pregnant is

...waiting for water to boil, only to discover five minutes later that you forgot to put water in the pot.

...not being able to comprehend a simple (one that your toddler could understand) conversation.

 ...forgetting things you have known all your life. (Grandmother's mailing address - a place I used to live.)

...calling your friends/family, only to discover once they answer that you have forgotten why you were calling in the first place.

...assuring the cashier that she gave you the wrong change, until you recall that $10 take away $7 really is $3. (Instantly burdened by the weight of feeling like a complete idiot!)

...walking into a room and immediately realizing you have no clue why you are there.

...coming home from the grocery store, only to remember an hour later that the groceries (including milk and eggs) are still in your vehicle.

...NEVER knowing where you put your cell phone.

...verbalizing sentences that do not make any sense. (omitting verbs, key nouns)

...walking into the garage and opening the vehicle door to run an errand, only to remember that your toddler is inside taking a nap. (Sheww! That was a close one!!)

...being asked a pharmaceutical question, only to stare blankly at your friend/neighbor because you realize you barely remember what the word "hypertension" means, much less how to treat it. (This is just sad.)

...washing a load of clothes, only to remember after the washer dings that you never added laundry detergent.

...getting in your vehicle, only to realize you forgot to bring the keys. (Yet again!)

...forgetting your child's middle name. (Removed from Parent of the Year award shortlist.)

...knowing and SEEING the grocery receipt and cash back money in the same bag as the bread, only to forget the money is in the bag - during the FIVE SECONDS it took to put away the bread - and crumbling up the bag and throwing it in the trash can. (Having a fabulous husband to support you during pregnancy is when you realize the NEXT day that the money was thrown away, and your husband digs through the trash - without being asked - to find it for you.)

...staring blankly at the items along the grocery store aisle/on the pharmacy shelf/inside your bedroom armoire, because you cannot recall what you were looking for.

...driving down the road, only to realize you have completely forgotten where you were heading, so you are forced to turn around and drive back home. (How has this happened more than ONCE?!)

...constantly addressing your brother and sister-in-law using a celebrity couple name, because you are no longer capable of processing and verbalizing words correctly. ("Skyla")

...getting off the phone with your husband SECONDS before approaching the drive-thru speaker, placing your order, driving home with said order, sitting down at the table to eat it, when your husband searches the bag and asks - "Where is my food?" (Doh!)

...crying while: watching a movie/show/commercial, reading a book/magazine/greeting card/informative pamphlet, seeing a hungry hitchhiker/stray dog/dead butterfly, folding a newborn onesie, walking down the street and seeing another set of parents and their infant together, staring at your toddler who has turned into an adult overnight, petting your cat who has decided to lie on your lap without coaxing, standing at the kitchen counter in pure devastation at the discovery that there really are no more bananas (day ruined!), eating, showering, driving, breathing, laughing - and any other time you are awake. (Sometimes, even sleeping.)

...forgetting scheduled appointments that are displayed on your wall kitchen calendar, inserted in your cell phone planner, AND written on the note you wrote yourself the night before said appointment.

...picking up the phone to call your parents, only to realize you cannot think of ONE digit in the phone number they have had for SIXTEEN YEARS. (Great! Where the hell is my cell phone containing my contact list?!)

...forgetting the name of your husband, in the middle of a face to face introduction. (Also, removed from Wife of the Year award shortlist.)

...finally knowing what it must feel like for your *blonde* sister to make it through life. (Poor, poor Kim!)

...to be in the middle of talking, writing, texting, typing and completely forget what you were