DISCLAIMER: Stupidity does NOT equal uneducated (so, everyone can calm down).
Anyone who knows me (or has spent any legitimate time with me) knows that I hate stupidity. I hate redundancy. I hate doing something for nothing. I hate any action or rule that can be conveyed as pointless. For example, lately, it IRKS THE PISS OUT OF ME to update or sync my iPod. You have to enter your password on the computer. You have to enter your passcode on the iPod. You have to agree on the computer. You have to agree on the iPod. They just KEEP making you verify shit on each end, and it is a COMPLETE.WASTE.OF.TIME!
My irritation (which borders on straight loathing) for stupidity falls second only to dishonesty. I quite literally cannot handle people who are dishonest or choose to say and/or do stupid things. However, as already mentioned in my disclaimer, stupidity does not include being uneducated (nor does it include making a mistake).
The latest example of stupidity in my life...
Earlier today, the growing parasite inside me and I decided we were hungry. It was around 3p, which made it an odd time to eat (lunch was over, but it was entirely too early for dinner). We decided upon a milkshake (HAPPY HOUR, PEOPLE!), hopped in my vehicle, and headed to our local Steak 'n Shake.
Taking into consideration that I live in a small town, this was not my first visit to SnS (particularly, for the sole purpose of ordering a milkshake). When I pulled up to the drive-thru's intercom system, I realized I wanted a salad, as well. (Perhaps a subconscious way of making the milkshake acceptable.) Ergo, I ordered a side salad and a small chocolate milkshake.
SnS Chic: "I am sorry. We do not have SMALL milkshakes, anymore. We have KIDDIE milkshakes or MEDIUM milkshakes."
Me, highly amused: "Sooo, would that not make the KIDDIE milkshake a SMALL by default?"
SnS Chic, not understanding the humor: "I am sorry. We have KIDDIE and MEDIUM milkshakes."
Me, laughing at what I am finding to be entertaining: "Okay, okay. I would like the NOT small KIDDIE milkshake."
SnS Chic: "So, you would like a side salad and a KIDDIE chocolate milkshake?"
Me, sarcastically: "Yes, I believe that is what we settled on."
SnS Chic, not picking up on the humor OR sarcasm: "Great! Please, pull around for your total."
I pulled around to be greeted by a younger girl, who was overly excited to wait on me. She stuck her head so far out of her window that she was nearly in my vehicle and told me my total. I leaned further INTO my vehicle, in order for our hands to meet, and gave her $20. She gathered my change and handed it to me, in addition to a bag containing my salad. She, then, told me it would be just a another minute on my milkshake. As promised, within a minute, she returned and held out the shake.
Me: "Are you serious?"
SnS Chic: "Is there a problem?"
Me: "No, no problem. It is just..I thought you told me you no longer served SMALL milkshakes?"
SnS Chic: "Yes, Ma'am! That is correct!"
Me: "Umm..THAT is a SMALL milkshake!"
SnS Chic, robotic: "No, this is a KIDDIE milkshake."
Me: "That is the EXACT same size cup the supposed no longer available SMALL milkshakes came in."
STUPID SnS Chic, smiling, oblivious: "We call them KIDDIE milkshakes, now."
Me, accepting the milkshake: "AHA! So, you admit it! THIS is a SMALL milkshake!!"
STUPID SnS Chic, frazzled: "Um. I do not. That. That is a KIDDIE milkshake. We, now, ONLY serve KIDDIE and MEDIUM milkshakes."
Me, now laughing a bit too hysterically at the insanity of the situation: "You do realize it is IMPOSSIBLE to have anything MEDIUM, without first having a SMALL and a LARGE, right?!"
STUPID SnS Chic: *silence*
Me: "Okay. Tell me this. How much is this KIDDIE milkshake?"
STUPID SnS Chic: *conveys price*
Me, sarcastically stunned: "IMAGINE THAT!! The KIDDIE milkshake is the EXACT SAME PRICE as your former SMALL milkshake! I did NOT see that coming? Did YOU?!"
STUPID SnS Chic, becoming fearful, half stuttering: "What? I do not. What? I have no idea."
Me, still laughing: "Allow me. Your nonexistent SMALL milkshake STILL exists! It came in THIS size cup for THAT price, and it looks like it still does! If the SnS corporation wants to further childhood obesity, by disguising their KIDDIE shakes as SMALL ones, go for it. However, I am NOT going to ignorantly accept the RIDICULOUS sizing renames, and I feel like you should KNOW what is happening at your very own workplace! I cannot possibly be the only customer who is going to notice this! Others WILL come! I am trying to HELP you!!"
STUPID SnS Chic: "Would you like to speak to a manager?"
Me, flabbergasted: "NO, BRITTANY (or whatever generic drive-thru nametag she was wearing)! I am NOT upset! I am merely trying to help you UNDERSTAND! You CANNOT have a KIDDIE, without a SMALL! You CANNOT have a MEDIUM, without a SMALL **AND** a LARGE! PLEASE, tell me I am NOT the only one who has questioned this?!"
STUPID SnS Chic, hesitant: "I..I think so."
Me, looking down at my lap, shaking my head: *sigh* "I am sad, Brittany. This town makes me sad."
STUPID SnS Chic, sympathizing: "Are..are you okay?"
Me, looking up, still shaking my head: "No. No, I am not. Just give me my EXTRA LARGE, JUMBO milkshake, and I will be on my way."
STUPID SnS Chic, giggling: "You are FUNNY!"
Me, genuinely stunned: "Come, again? You see the humor in the EXTRA LARGE comment, but not the...*pauses*...Just. Nevermind, Brittany. Nevermind."
STUPID SnS Chic, starting to enjoy our encounter, laughing: "Thank you! Please, come back!!"
Me: "I cannot imagine that I will, Brittany, but thank you for your exuberant invite."
Steak 'n Shake. Famous for STUPIDITY.
