The Swear Jar

Shortly after I walked in from work last night, Warren said, "Campbell said the most hilarious thing, this evening!"

Me, expecting great things, since it involves Cam: "Oh yeah?! What?" 

Warren: "While she was playing the new Disney game on her iPad, the game froze and she said, "OH, DAMN IT!"

Me, feeling guilty and looking down at the floor: "Aww man! That is EXACTLY how I say it! No way she did not learn that from me!" (Seriously, I rival a sailor.)

Warren, laughing: "Probably so."

Me: "This is for sure my doing." (FOR SURE!)

Warren: "I asked her to repeat what she said, because I wanted to make sure that I had heard her correctly. She, immediately, broke down sobbing. I had to explain that she was NOT in trouble, but I wanted to know what she had said. Once she confirmed what I knew I had heard, I explained to her that she was not in trouble *this* time. However, it was not a nice word and she should not say it, again."

Me: "This one is all on me. I will make sure to talk to her, this evening, before bedtime."

Warren: "Is it wrong that I found it absolutely hysterical coming from her mouth?!"

Me: "NO! I totally wish I were a fly on the wall for that one, because I know how funny Cam can be! I imagine it was a riot!" (Do not judge me, for being bummed that I was not present to hear my four year old curse.)

Fast forward to after the girls' bath time...

Me, sitting at the kitchen table: "Hey, Campbell!"

Cam, from the other room: "Yes, Mommy?"

Me: "Come in here and talk to Mommy."

Campbell came, quickly, bounding into the kitchen. When she got close enough, I scooped her up and set her in my lap.

Me: "Miss Campbell, I hear that you said something you were not supposed to, tonight."

Cam, half-grinning, half embarrassed: "Yes, Mommy. I did."

Me: "Did you hear that word from Mommy?"

Cam, shaking her head from side to side: "I cannot remember."

Me: "Mommy wants to apologize to you. I am quite certain you heard that phrase from me, even if you do not recall doing so. The thing about that word is that it is not a very nice word. It is an adult word; although, adults really  should not say it, either. I am very sorry you heard that from me."

Riley Mac, who has been sitting across the table listening: "Well, I KNOW *I* have heard it from YOU, Mommy! I have said it before, too!!" (She was more proud than ashamed. She is definitely my child.)

Warren, bursts out laughing: "Talk about selling you out!!" (Accountability. Told you...MY child!)

Me, trying to contain my own laughter: "Well, now you BOTH know it is NOT a nice word! So, how about this? Campbell, will you work on not saying that word, again?"

Cam: "Yes, Mommy. I will not say it, again."

Me: "Mac, will YOU work on not saying that word, again?"

Mac: "Yes!"

Me: "Great! Mommy will do the same. We will ALL work on this together, as a team. No more bad words!" (The girls were beaming with excitement, not realizing how great curse words are at expressing emotion. I am never going to make it!)

Warren looks at me and grins, as if he knows I will never be able to accomplish this new goal. (We all know he is right.)

Fast forward to five minutes after the girls' bedtime...

Me, getting splashed with boiling pasta water, while cooking dinner: "SHIT!!!"

Me, immediately turning to face Warren: "OH, DAMN IT! We are going to have to enact a Swear Jar!" (There is already $23 in it.)


*After my mother read this blog, she texted, "Well, they did not learn it from Grandma! That is the REALLY important part of this story! :) :) :)"